ME DÁ LICENÇA - © KARIN HUECK

Max Eluard,
45, movie producer
How he got his leave: he was self-employed and worked from home when his son, adopted at 1 year and 8 months, arrived. Until today, he has flexible wirking schedules and shares the care cork with his partner.

Photo: Marcelo Müller. His child León is also on the picture.

"

It is a privilege for a man, in Brazil, to have paternity leave, because there is no law for it. This is something we have to face. It is not enough to want to stay home to make the leave happen. The couple has to have the financial means for the father to stop working and be present. Of course, there are many privileged people who use their time differently. But it's important to remember that it is a privilege.


 

The adoption process ends up leaving the couple all alone. It is different when the woman goes through a pregnancy, there is a belly, the whole family is excited. We didn't have that. We got into the adoption process and one fine day we were able to adopt. It was such a scare. Our mothers lived far away. And there was this cultural thing, really, that the rest of the family did not feel this immediate bond with the child, as it is with a pregnancy. We were very alone.

Playing and going for walks are always enjoyable things. But looking back, I can not say that changing diapers is boring. It was a bonding moment, of looking at my children in the eye. To feed them, to reprehend them, to teach them limits. All these things are important. They are little bricks in the construction of love.


We knew that the love of our children had to be conquered. Although I think that the bond with biological children also needs to be conquered. Any child - the adopted, the biological - needs to be adopted by the parents. The bond needs the daily care of parents. Parental leave is important and indispensable for all parents to the same extent.

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"The bond with one's child is made out of presence, constancy, repetition, routine. If the routine were my absence, our bond would be different, too. It couldn’t be the same. The relation between bond and presence is very direct."